I was told back on July 19th that they couldn't see an embryo, let alone a heartbeat when I went in for my viability ultrasound. The doctor said I should come back the next week and we'll make a plan if I haven't naturally miscarried. So, we went back 11 days later on July 30th and my doctor did another ultrasound. It was amazing...there was a visable embryo and fetal pole! As surprising and exciting as this was, it was still 2 weeks behind in growth with no heartbeat and it had shifted further down in the uterus. The doctor changed the diagnosis to a "Missed Miscarriage" instead of a "Blighted Ovum". He said this was a positive sign. While I was prepared for the inevitable miscarriage, it was still amazing to see the little one in there! I guess, in a way, it made my emotions even stronger because now I had a visual image.
Saturday was pure hell! I've never felt cramps like this before. Here I was...in Costco, in the midst of hundreds of shoppers and I was stalled in the aisle, sweating and barely able to move! I took an 800 mg ibuprofen and hoped it would kick in quickly! I finally started walking around again, leaning on my cart. I just wanted to get home! I figured out why I was cramping so bad that afternoon when I passed the tissue/sac. I can't believe how emotional that was! Even though this baby was growing inside me for only a few weeks, I love him/her so much!
I'm still sad today, but now I can move on. We had a great post-IVF consult with the RE. He spent an hour and 1/2 with us, answered every question and didn't make us feel rushed. He feels that we are very close to finding the perfect combination of IVF for us. He suggested we take a little break, maybe try naturally (take Clomid if we want) for a few months until we're ready to do IVF again. When we're ready, we're going to use a new protocol which includes 6 days of Human Growth Hormone, which has been proven in studies to help improve embryo quality. We're not sure yet when we'll be ready to start again, but I feel more hopeful.
Monday, August 2, 2010
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I am so sorry to hear this!! Our hearts and prayers go out to you. I can't even imagine. But please know that we are thinking of you, praying for you, and rooting for you.
ReplyDeleteAshley I am so sorry you had to go through that, I couldn't even imagine that. Anyways stay strong like you are cuz you are amazing and definitley take time for you and clay cuz you guys need it. Hang in there and I love you guys and I am always here if you need to ever talk.
ReplyDeleteAshley,
ReplyDeleteI so wish I could take away all of this and make things better but it sounds like things are getting better and that they are getting close! You know my mom always told me if at first you don't succeed try, try again! I love you guys so much and I know you are going to be holding your little one very soon! I am going to continue to keep You, Clay and the future baby in my thoughts and prayers!! I am always here for you!!! Keep wearing your necklace!!!
LOVE YOU!
XOXO
Kells~