The embryos are home!

It's been a rough waiting game over the past few days.  We learned yesterday by the embryologist calling that 8 eggs were mature and were fertilized with ICSI.  The other 3 eggs were left to mature on their own.  Only 1 did mature, but it didn't fertilize.  7 of the fertilized embryos started dividing like they should.  He told us to expect a call in the morning with more updates on their progress.

Dr. Hammoud called us just after 8:00 am and gave us a big decision to make.  He said that 3 of the 7 embryos are looking really good.  They have divided to 6 and 7 cells and are rated as a 2 (1 being the best, but is very rare).  2 of them are medium quality (4 cells with a 2 rating) and the other 2 are lower quality (3 cells with a 3 rating).  He said that we had the choice to do the transfer today or wait until Day 5, but we risk losing some or even all of them.  There are many differing opinions about Day 3 vs Day 5 transfers.  Some say that the uterus is the most natural state and they will do as well there as they would in the petri dish.  Others say that if the embryos don't make it to Day 5, they weren't good enough quality to transfer anyway.  There is definitely a slighly better chance of pregnancy for a Day 5 transfer (5-10%). 

Dr. Hammoud and Dr. Gibson met and they both suggested a transfer today of the 2 best (both 7 cells).  Then we can still watch the other 5 and we'll know more about how they are behaving and hopefully have some to freeze.  We talked about the pros and cons of both and felt good about transferring today, so we headed up there.  The doctor answered any other questions we had and talked about the risks (miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, infection, etc.).  We received pictures of the embryos and he gave me 2 valium pills.

It is such an amazing procedure!  The doctor inserted a guiding catheter directly to 1 cm from the top of the uterus.  Then we watched on a screen as the embryologist showed my name and sucked up the embryos in a media which is similar to the uterine environment.  He walked directly into the room, the catheter was emptied into my uterus and then the catheter was checked under the microscope to make sure the embryos were not longer there.  I then slept for about a 1/2 hour and left in a wheelchair.

I called my acupuncturist after leaving and he had availability at 2 pm, so while we were waiting, Clay picked up lunch and we ate a little picnic at the park.  It was such a beautiful day today!  70 degrees and barely a cloud in the sky!  A perfect day for 2 little embryos to settle into their loving, nurturung home for the next 9 months!

Fertility gifts (my good luck charms)!

My Aunt Kathy and Uncle David gave these Chinese and Indian Fertility Amulets at Christmas.  David brought the Chinese Amulet while on a trip there just a few weeks earlier.  I had these in my pockets during the retrieval and the transfer.  I was told to hang them in a place with high energy in my home.

Abbie gave me this tea towel on Mother's Day!  I keep it where I take all my shots.

Retrieval Day!

Well, I'm home from the retrieval.  Everything went well, despite the nurse having to try 3 times for my IV line!  Ugh!  It's a good thing I'm not too sensitive to needles.  I am definitely sore and crampy right now, but I'm not as tired as I remembered from the last time.  I'm sure I'll take a nap later, but now I'm going to catch up on some TV shows and maybe a chick flick or two!  Clay made me a wonderful breakfast of a bagel and fruit.  (I read pineapple is very good food for implantation)

So...good news!  I was completely asleep, but Clay said Dr. Hammoud came in after meeting with the embryologist and reported there were 11 eggs retrieved.  There may be even more eggs in the follicular fluid.  After only 5 eggs the last time, we were very happy with that result.  We should hear from the embryologist within the next 2 days to see how the embryos are developing.  The doc said that they will attempt to fertilize all eggs, but only the mature ones will be done through ICSI.  The eggs that are not quite mature will be surrounded by sperm in the petri dish where they may mature and fertilize later.

We're praying for the embryologist to have steady and skilled hands and works perfectly on our eggs and sperm today!

No regrets!

I took 3 pregnancy tests this morning and they were all a very faint line, so I called the clinic for advice.  Dr. Jones went through my chart thoroughly and called me back.  She asked that Clay join me on the speakerphone.  She explained that last time we had a small sampling of mature eggs, which is why we're doing a different regimen this time, but we don't know exactly why this happened when we had more follicles and we don't know exactly why those embryos that were transferred didn't implant.  She said it could have been the HCG levels, but it could also have been the quality of the egg or the sperm.  The sperm loved the hamster eggs, but in the past there have been a high number with poor morphology.  She suggested I get a HCG booster shot to cover all my bases.  It may make my abdomen more sore, but it shouldn't really affect me negatively other than that.

Dr. Jones discussed my file with the embryologist and they both agreed that doing ICSI will give us the very best chance for quality embryos.  This is a delicate procedure where they take one of the best sperm and insert it directly into the egg.  They will do this for each mature egg.  She said that, yes it is more expensive, but so is doing IVF again.  We agreed because we don't want to have any regrets.  We are looking forward to hearing that we have more embryos and better quality!

It is so strange to think that we should have embryos starting to grow tomorrow... essentially, our child/children will begin their creation.  I am amazed and appreciative of these medical advances!  It is so incredible that these procedures are possible.  We talked this morning about how the selection of one sperm and one egg is in the hands of an embryologist.  Yes, there is some random selection, but it is no longer natural.  It is interesting to think about. I'm sure there are people out there that don't believe in this process, but we want to be parents so much that if this is the only way, well then, we're going to put our faith and trust in the professionals.

Day 12

So, we're on for a Monday morning retrieval!  During the ultrasound this morning we learned the follicles are progressing very well.  There was only 1 follicle over the size of 25, so that means the egg will probably be too mature by Monday.  There were 15 between size 16 and 22, most of them on my left ovary.  My estrogen level was 1940, which had increased due to the follicles still growing.

HCG shot tonight at 7:30 pm, which will be 36 hours prior to a 7:30 am retrieval.  Pregnancy test on Sunday morning to make sure there is HCG in my system.  We're feeling hopeful!

Day 11

So, the last time we did IVF, I went in for the retrieval on Day 11.  This time, it should be on Day 14 (Monday).  My follicles are growing steadily, but definitely more slowly than the last time.  I was told today that the Estrace I took after ovulation on my last cycle slows the follicle growth down.  I've had to order 2 more days of Repronex and luckily I have enough Gonal F for 12 days.  I had my estrogen level take today and it was 1400.  I was told that number is perfect for this time in the cycle.  So, we will go in for another ultrasound tomorrow, just to make sure everything still looks good and I should take the HCG shot in the evening, 36 hours prior to the retrieval.

I'm starting to really feel the growth in my ovaries now.  My abdomen feels very full and bloated.  The left ovary is much larger than the right, with 3 times as many follicles.  They are ranging between size 10 and 22.  The 2 follicles at size 22 may be too large at the retrieval, but it is worth sacrificing those 2 for many more that still need a bit more growth.  It is a fine balance between days into the cycle, size of the follicles and hormone levels.  They are watching me very carefully right now to make sure the ovaries are not hyperstimulated.  If that happens, we wouldn't do the retrieval because the follicles would be too mature. They can tell this by my estrogen levels.  I was relieved to hear that everything was okay today.

So, I'll update tomorrow if anything changes.  Otherwise, I'll wait until Monday or Tuesday when we find out how many eggs we were able to retrieve.  All 3 doctors have commented on my beautiful uterus!  :o)  We just need a little joey or two to find it so nice that they want to spend 9 months in there growing healthily!  Keep your good vibes coming our way!

My current theme song...

So, I related to the words of this song from the moment I first heard it. I've read it was written about Michael Bublés fiancée, but I think it can apply to my situation. It makes me smile when I hear it and helps me stay positive that I will meet my joey(s) one day.  We've certainly felt like we're doing everything possible to make this dream come true!

"Haven't Met You Yet"
by Michael Bublé

Lyrics:
I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out

I get all worked up, then I let myself down
I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair
In love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get it right and we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get

Oh, you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah, I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh, promise you, kid
To give so much more than I get

I said love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
(I just haven't met you yet)
Love, love, love, love
Love, love
I just haven't met you yet

We're smack dab in the middle of Round 2!

I have no excuse... I should have updated earlier.  Regardless, here we are...

We are currently at Day 5 of the stimulation injections for Round 2 of IVF.  I am using Gonal F instead of Follistim and no Lupron for me this time.  I took Estrace pills after ovulation in my last cycle.  The nurse said Estrace keeps all my follicles growing at the same pace.  This is the goal for this go-around.  I went in for an ultrasound yesterday morning and Dr. Peterson saw about 14 follicles around a size 7.  I'll go in again on Monday morning for another ultrasound.  When the follicles are a size 13, I'll take a one-dose shot of Cetrotide, which helps keep my normal hormones suppressed so I don't ovulate on my own.  Of course, this is all my understanding of this whole process, which could be off a little.

So, I'll know a bit more on Monday, but the tentative plan now is that I'll be having my retrieval on Thursday, Friday or Saturday.  The transfer could be 3-5 days afterwards, depending on how the embryos are developing.  I'm keeping my hopes up that there will be a number of excellent embryos so we can freeze them and I don't have to go through the harvesting part again!

Thursday was our 4th Anniversary and we had a nice dinner at the Tin Angel Cafe downtown.  I highly recommend it, quite delicious and they support local business and farmers.  It was a great night and we were finally able to sit outside on the patio after a very cool spring here in Salt Lake.  Clay wrote me a very nice card.  He knows I've been quite a bit more nervous this time.  I guess that it is understandable.  I'm trying to not worry too much and keep thinking positively.